Second Marriage Jokes


Some jokes are from the mouth of kids; their innocent questions and answers brings a smile while other are about students giving silly and stupid answers. Beginning and ending your speech: Begin by addressing the guests with "Ladies and gentlemen" or "Relatives and friends". And, since it does, there is still a purpose in the following romantic marriage poems: 1. Would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. Marriage Quotes, Wedding Love Facts | Funny Advice for Newlyweds Marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent having equal partnership of a man and a woman. I pray she realizes that my fight is for her and our marriage. Marriage Jokes - Christian Jokes. Who has the honor of presenting this woman to be married to this man? Answer: "On behalf of her loving family and friends, I do. Runners-up one-liners are one-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100. the same priest who had performed the ceremonies for Khan’s second marriage with TV anchor Reham Khan. Love isn't. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes. Sometimes they do but if things have been going this way for months or years, stop waiting and start pressing for some answers. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's. Brian says his marriage and faith in God created the foundation for his recovery. Explore the humorous side of marriage and share a laughs with funny, satirical and cute marriage jokes. 'Souch Badlo, Amdani Barhao' Dulha kay Aansoo. Kim Kardashian shares story of her grandma's first marriage which lasted just 2 months and jokes about how similar it is to her second marriage with Kris Humphries which lasted 72 days Kim Kardashian had a lavish wedding ceremony when she tied the knot with Kris Humphries but it lasted just 72 days before they went their separate ways. 6 Signs He's About to Say I Love You. This is why you need to take best man speeches, brother to brother, very seriously. Here you will find the best of the wedding jokes and humor around with links to classic best man stories and sections for only the bride and groom to read. Looking for funny wedding toasts, funny wedding toast quotes, wedding toast jokes, or funny wedding quotes, then read our wedding toasts section to bring humor to your best friend’s wedding. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. Bishops launched the National Pastoral Initiative on Marriage, a multi-year collaborative effort to promote, preserve, and protect marriage, understood as both a sacramental reality and a human institution. However, they are definitely a more rational approach to unearthing arranged marriage facts and in finding out if an arranged marriage is something you might even want to consider. MARRIAGE is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Means official talaq or any other thing. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage…. - Jackie Gleason. I hope these clean Christian jokes will get at least a little chuckle out of you, even if you aren't up to date with current events. Marriage is the institution where the woman loses her the name and the man his solvency. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Marriage is the second most important decision any two people can make. I married Miss Right. Mark is the creator of the Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage seminar, and one of the most sought-after speakers in the country on marriage and family. Funny marriage advice: marriage should not be about looking at each other but looking in the same direction! Advice for a husband: never laugh at wife's choices, because you are on of them! Don't sweat the small stuff on your wedding day - Your marriage has only just begun! Two things are necessary to keep wife happy. While you can certainly write a wedding script however you’d like, it can be very helpful to use an outline to organize the things you’d like to say as the officiant. In days past, the idea of incorporating humor into a marriage ceremony was considered a sacrilege. Best Wishes. Until now, in most cases, if one tribunal determined that a marriage was null, the decision was automatically appealed to a court of second instance, and only if the second tribunal agreed was an annulment granted. Second Purchase transaction, occurring at least one day after sign up transaction in order to qualify. I do not link this page back to my main website. -Oscar Wilde. She reminds me so much of her mom,and it would be. Each of you should spend time alone with the Lord, every day. The best marriage jokes. Absolutely hillarious marriage one-liners! The largest collection of marriage one-line jokes in the world. These are real life wedding speeches sent to Hitched by people we've helped in the past. Beginning and ending your speech: Begin by addressing the guests with "Ladies and gentlemen" or "Relatives and friends". In traditional marriage ceremony, the bride’s father speech is very essential so that this pre defined template ensures that, thank giving note, description and other necessary things are easily described in this template. Instead turn to these clever marriage jokes to get everyone laughing. Marriage is grand - but divorce is about 10 grand. Also, wedding veils are typically not worn for second weddings, but you can wear one if you choose. While you can certainly write a wedding script however you’d like, it can be very helpful to use an outline to organize the things you’d like to say as the officiant. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. My name is James, and on behalf of Matthew and. They have vowed, in our presence, to be loyal and loving towards each other. Marriage is all about give and take. An Analysis of Diocesan Marriage Preparation Policies In November 2004 the U. May 05, 2018 · I do, again: 'There is nothing as deadly serious as a second marriage' Dress from a charity shop, no cake and a midweek ceremony - but don't think my second wedding is a joke Zoe Williams. But for better or for worse, these marriage jokes and wedding puns will have you doubling over. We haven't yet updated our wills and I. Sep 30, 2013. Here goes: 1. -- Funny Marriage Quotes --Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you know a joke that works well with ESL/EFL students, please submit the joke. These are not just funny stories, they are in fact funny marriage advice that can truly help you to get through the hurdles of marriage and relationships, if you interpret them in the right way. Anniversary is the time to cherish special memories. Sign in to review and manage your activity, including things you’ve searched for, websites you’ve visited, and videos you’ve watched. Hilarious Jokes of Love and Marriage Ebook Free. Blogs, pictures, forum Saudi Arabia on expat. In the first marriage dimension, there are second chances and I’m sorry’s. It was Joe’s first marriage and Susan’s second. Funny Wedding Wishes. Too many people keep ignoring this situation and hoping things will get better on their own. I often get people asking me for tips for a successful marriage. May 05, 2018 · I do, again: 'There is nothing as deadly serious as a second marriage' Dress from a charity shop, no cake and a midweek ceremony - but don't think my second wedding is a joke Zoe Williams. Policeman jokes. Thus, no marriage or family, no ward or stake is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other's strengths. RE :Will setting aside annulment of first marriage void my second marriage? Hello, My first marriage was made Null and Void via ANNULMENT - EXPARTE (My husband did not appear to the court) and after waiting for 3 months of time, I have legally re-married. The next step is to get out of the abusive relationship. Clean Christian Jokes. The gospel text for today invites us to reflect on the rela­tionship between friendship, obedience, sacrifice, and love. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. crumbs of Italian universe. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. We might joke that marriage should come with a manual, but for remarriages it’s essential. At 37, my second wife was also a divorcee with no kids, and whose first marriage ended (like mine) within a year, and without children involved. wedding dress for second marriage, informal bridal dresses, cheap wedding gowns, designer bridal gowns. free marriage advice jokes Kids most especially are hooked using these little bites rebuild a relationship after cheating of sweetness. " The Jewish boy said, "Of course he does, you tell him everything. Paul, it's only when you reach my age that you realise what it means to go home at night to a woman who gives you respect, tenderness, and affection…. com is the oldest and most trusted joke site on the Internet, with over 1,000,000 million subscribers! All Jokes are user submitted and we have a full time staff that manually approves each and every joke. Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean jokes and humor about marriage, husbands, wives, kids, men, women, and more. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. As a result. It is posted here with their permission. , Virginia, Delaware and Pennsylvania regions. Keep in mind the best man speech you deliver will ring in your brother’s mind for years to come. When a person suffers in first Marriage they are forced to think about second Marriage. Paul has married for a second time and doesn't want to change his will. Our content is created by professional script writers or derived from real-life father of the bride speeches. Divorce and the Remote Control “A young woman is divorced after only a few years of marriage, and it is not long before her friends begin to ask her if she is thinking of marrying again. Humorous And Funny Wedding Words. You got together like two beans in. Second MARRIAGE is the triumph of hope over experience. Paul, it's only when you reach my age that you realise what it means to go home at night to a woman who gives you respect, tenderness, and affection…. Will invite Hasin Jahan for my second marriage, jokes Mohammed Shami. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Sep 30, 2013. Many people will listen to the officiant saying and command. Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. Funny Jokes. Here it is. d) Polyandry is not permitted and the second marriage will be void under Shia and Sunni law. Now you’re into the home stretch! You’re going to tell one last little tale, which is about what marriage to your bride means to you, and what your hopes for the marriage are. MARRIAGE is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Discover and share Wedding Quotes For Second Marriages. Democrats aren't supposed to be assertive even when they're solidly on the side of the majority. It only seems longer. Bill and Mary were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding. This wedding homily is so awesome, it could save your marriage “The second way is not the likeliest, but who knows what the Holy Spirit may ask of you, and that is to actually risk and even. Second marriage is the triumph. You may find some jokes or humor in the ceremony. Many people will listen to the officiant saying and command. It's not so much who wears the pants, but how much money is in the pockets. Bad (humorous) marriage advice. 16 Productivity Secrets of Highly Successful People Revealed. Pronouncement of Marriage 5. Love really is lovelier the second time around. Now you’re into the home stretch! You’re going to tell one last little tale, which is about what marriage to your bride means to you, and what your hopes for the marriage are. Anne Cantrell. Angie and Matthew have each walked many miles to be here together today, and this wedding is a joy to behold. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering; Marriage isn’t a word. If you're wrong and you shut up, you're wise. However, some guests may make comments if you choose to wear a white formal wedding dress to your second wedding. However, when she remarried five years after her husband’s tragic 1963 assassination, her new marriage was hardly as popular. com or by phone purchase in two or more transactions in the previous 12-month membership. The rest cheat in Europe. Kim!! had a marriage that lasted about the same amount of time that Kim's second marriage did. Bachelors should be heavily taxed. 15 Differences Between the Boy you Date and the Man you Marry. The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. He gets up and hugs Mary a second, and third time, and then turns to John and says, “See that, John. A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. :salams Please try to be patient and less emotional while reading and while responding. 9 Sister Wedding Speech Tips So You Can Tell Your Sis How Much You Love Her On Her Special Day my second favorite part of the night was her speech. Recipe for a Happy Marriage Submitted By: BonnieJean Combine two caring hearts Melt into one Add alot of love Mix well with respect, and trust Add gentleness, laughter, faith, hope, and joy. Here are some of the best funny wedding toast quotes and jokes you can use to make your wedding speech unforgettable. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. We have unearthed 6 scientific arranged marriage facts that you should read before you write it off! 1. Marriage let you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. “The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. ‘Azad Punchi’ (Free Bird) Heart of a Newly Wed Wife. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 33 Father of the Groom Wedding Toasts. 1 Exclusive Re-Marriage Matrimony for Widow / Divorced and Separated. When discussing the service, which is very simple, the bride commented that it would be great if the homily could be like one of my blog posts. Anspacher Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A Second Opinion Joke My friend was at the beauty parlour when she overheard another woman rattle on to the manicurist about the sad state of her marriage. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. Divorce Jokes Marriage Jokes Wedding Jokes A young woman is divorced after only a few years of marriage, and it is not long before her friends begin to ask her if she is thinking of marrying again. At the funeral, their three wives were talking about their lost husbands. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said, "You're requirements please. Best wedding wishes. Wedding sometimes becomes very formal in the ceremony. Marriage is all about give and take. About Our Content. See this wedding hashtag inspiration from real couples: See Alyssa and Daniel’s #unlimitedlovestory here. Of life's two chief prizes, beauty and truth, I found the first in a loving heart and the second in a laborer's hand. Second marriage is allowed when there is a need of shelter for a women not to fulfill physical desire only. Pronouncement of Marriage 5. As a convention, the husband is displayed to the left and the spouse is displayed to the right. As somebody who, in my second marriage, insisted on a prenuptial agreement, I can also testify that sometimes it is an act of love to chart the exit strategy before you enter the union, in order to make sure that not only you, but your partner as well, knows that there will be no World War III should hearts and minds, for any sad reason, change. Wedding Congratulations Second Marriage Running an expert business doesnt just happen of own conform. All it needs is the initiative and the memory of the good times and the romance to bring all the love back into your loveless marriage. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain… Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. " The Jewish boy said, "Of course he does, you tell him everything. Best Man Speech at a Second Marriage. Jokes must be in text format, no emoji's or linking allowed. Enjoy a wide variety of Christian jokes, clean jokes, and family safe jokes and humor. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. Find a way to make jokes even if you don't feel like it. advertisement. Having, it is to be hoped, lost her right to white satin she wears a simple afternoon frock and hat. Welcome to our Jokes section. "The same rules apply as the first marriage," says Jones. Kim!! had a marriage that lasted about the same amount of time that Kim's second marriage did. “It seems like all the Christian guys our age got married a long time ago, or they have other issues. Laughing is a special bond that connects even strangers, and when you laugh together with your married partner, your deepen that bond. Christian Marriage Sayings and Quotes. GenoPro can support an unlimited number of spouses and husbands for each member in the tree. Some are related to Christian issues while others are not but all are sure to make you laugh. Behind Door Number 2. In days past, the idea of incorporating humor into a marriage ceremony was considered a sacrilege. In late November of 1926, the already rocky marriage foundered and turned into a long, nasty public divorce for both Lita and Charlie. Funniest jokes ever. I don’t know about you, but respect has never come easily to me. Opportunity to automatically earn a free 12-month Rewards Club membership if member spends $250 at Things Remembered retail locations, ThingsRemembered. She was the stepdaughter of Oscar Hammerstein II, the third wife of actor Henry Fonda, with whom she adopted a daughter, Amy (born 1953), and the second wife of actor Richard Widmark. This was a second marriage for us too. In conclusion, these two married today for better and for worse. After our first date—skating at an outdoor rink—we fell madly in love. These wedding jokes could be great included in a best man or chief bridesmaid/matron of honour speech. 101 Fun Jokes has all the best redneck jokes on the web, as well as dirty jokes, clean jokes and everything in between. his second marriage to the much. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! *****  Q. The first one left me, and the second one didn't. From experience, most dads prefer to write about qualities of the groom that’s key in marriage like endurance, love, steadfastness, commitment. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said, "You're requirements please. There are some top notch wedding speech jokes and one-liners flying about for you use and raise a giggle amongst the guests. Here are the do's and don'ts of how to craft the perfect best man speech. Under all schools of Muslim law, the basic requirements have to be fulfilled, i. Second Marriage Quotes. Just because your husband is a jerk doesn’t mean you aren’t called to respect him. Keep Learning. His first marriage is successful, Alhamdolillah. Many question come up in a person’s mind about the second partner if the partner will be same or different from the first one. Officiant: "Marriage is in itself a blessing. this until my second. A pastor must help those who are grieving, whether in death or illness. In the case of multiple spouses or husbands, the nearest marriage is always the first marriage. Commitment to the first wife spouse ends at death and when widowers remarry, our obligations change. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Two people who used to love each other just battling it out. The moment you get married, your freedom, sex life, and happiness are over! Or, is it? This is the message that most 'wedding jokes' have in common. The idea is that you may get your answer by browsing the comments left by others. If you somehow found this page it's probably because you're trawling the internet looking for jokes to put in your wedding speech. Preach on topics including the marriage covenant, unity, communication, romance, and life in the home. When someone is having a second child, you can't make jokes abut learning to change diapers. Here you will find the best of the wedding jokes and humor around with links to classic best man stories and sections for only the bride and groom to read. But I met my match with the second one If you're having second thoughts About your second choice, Don't hesitate for a second. his second marriage to the much. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together. KINDS OF MARRIAGE. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 I want to begin with a story that I am sure will not happen at this wedding. It is a collection of extremely funny Husband and Wife Jokes which will make your day. free marriage advice jokes Kids most especially are hooked using these little bites rebuild a relationship after cheating of sweetness. Enjoy a wide variety of Christian jokes, clean jokes, and family safe jokes and humor. If you're nervous ,we hope it helps. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. "The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father, "is that I know he never cheated during his exams. The important things is to communicate the right message in the right tone. Problem is, we never remember the jokes when we get sober again. She reminds me so much of her mom,and it would be. It turned out, not all of the delivered people had excellent delivery. A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. You shall not murder. 21 Famous Wedding Anniversary Quotes Perhaps it is because for many of us, our marriage is that firmament on which our lives are based, wedding anniversary quotes are a poignant and eloquent reminder that in marriage we are greater than the sum of our parts. Markle’s second marriage, by comparison, is different, with Wunder remarking that this time, “a woman like Meghan realizes that while love is the foundation, wisdom, skills, patience and. For example: Joe (a Lutheran) marries Susan (an Anglican). If someone with a title is present, it is courteous to acknowledge the fact. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. In fact, Charles Darwin, Mr. During pre-production of Miami Vice (1984), he wanted Sonny Crockett to be "more of a cowboy", and suggested "a lot of denim, V-neck sweaters and cowboy boots". Funny wedding toast quotes. Hate can keep you alive. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. Only the absolute cream of the crop gains entry to our Hall of Fame, so if you're looking for guaranteed side-splitters, there's no better place. " She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!" I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. Your second priority is your spouse. Funny Quotations: Marriage, Group 3. More hilarious jokes coming up The Best Stupid 'What Do You Call' Jokes. Image via Wikipedia When I was a child, my father used to joke with me saying, “Nancy, remember, it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich guy as a poor one. The MC's job is to make sure the evening goes as smoothly as possible, taking the pressure off the happy couple and allowing them to forget about the practical concerns of the event and focus. -- Funny Marriage Quotes --Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Katona, who has Molly, 17, and Lilly-Sue, 15, with first husband Brian McFadden, Heidi, 11, and Maxwell, 10. Marriage is a strange phenomenon that happens to human beings. The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. Best wishes. Developing trust and making a marriage work after a divorce requires a strong commitment to the relationship by both of you. Spread the humourMarriage One-liners and Jokes Marriage One-liners an Jokes The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. Marriage is a big step in one's life. Is marriage really the end of all your happiness?. After Marriage he’s like Hutch… Wherever You Go Our Network Follows. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. The joke competition was fierce. Never marry a man for money. It only seems longer. Our list includes funny, inspiring, religious and heartfelt quotes for any type of vows or speech. Nash also works as a consultant for the Golden. On one hand, marriage gives us the opportunity to create a new life of love, connection, and adventure while on the other hand, it demands us to walk the same path with another person, despite all differences and incompatibilities that might occur in the. Best Man’s Speech at the Wedding – Free Sample. When I first wrote this article, I felt somewhat alone. But Hank Sheinkopf thinks men will feel attacked by this joke. " An elderly man bursts into a priest's study and says, " I've got to tell you this. You see to guys one on one telling each other with a straight face jokes and the challenge here is not to laugh. There's only one thing wrong with wife swapping. This is common sense. Love isn't. Anspacher Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Marriages are made in heaven. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Sometimes they do but if things have been going this way for months or years, stop waiting and start pressing for some answers. Nikkah Fee Charged by the Maulvi Sahib. Second Marriage Quotes. Aiming to insert a little humor into your wedding vows? Incorporate these funny wedding vows below into your ceremony, or use them as inspiration to get your guests laughing. They are the tragedies of divorce—bitter ex-spouses, broken promises, and confused children. My Favorite Ceremony with a little humor thrown in Opening. Wife ask her husband about his second marriage - Latest Funny Jokes, Marriage Jokes, Clean Jokes, Sarcasm Humor, Fun Things, Funny Quotes. The price tag? $44 million. But sometimes we can all get so competitive trying to catch the most (or the biggest) fish, that we forget about the "fun factor". Funny Marriage Quotes Quotes and Sayings: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that. Elizabeth Warren’s viral same-sex marriage quip shows what some find exciting — and others distressing — about her "It is a battle cry for men to turn out against Elizabeth Warren. Nedu Wazobia Marries Funmi, His Second Marriage, See Wedding Invitation Card - Celebrities (2) - Nairaland. The third one opened his box and said, "Eeew, mac and cheese! I hate mac and cheese!". Love is the sun that initiates emergence of the flower of marriage; soon the lovebirds will draw swords of never-ending war. But he knows that his first wife may feel bad or jealous naturally. the same priest who had performed the ceremonies for Khan’s second marriage with TV anchor Reham Khan. Elizabeth Warren’s viral same-sex marriage quip shows what some find exciting — and others distressing — about her "It is a battle cry for men to turn out against Elizabeth Warren. Instead of giving up, they found solutions. Only after getting married you realise that those husband-wife jokes were not just jokes. Getting married is a two-way street – do all you can to avoid head-on collisions. Any good father of the bride speech should end with some wise words about marriage, and I have some specifically for my new son in law Paul. Here you will find a collection of clean jokes that are in no particular order. The rest cheat in Europe. Happy Anniversary my dear. Wedding Script Ideas and Examples - Need some wordplay for your big day? by Michael Henderson | This newsletter was created with Smore, an online tool for creating beautiful newsletters for educators, nonprofits, businesses and more. Bad (humorous) marriage advice. Here are some of the common questions about marriage and annulments. 101 Fun Jokes has all the best redneck jokes on the web, as well as dirty jokes, clean jokes and everything in between. The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. Share any vows you write with your partner prior to the big day—you do not want bad surprises! Humor can get us through some very sticky moments. Many question come up in a person’s mind about the second partner if the partner will be same or different from the first one. It’s painful and it can make your life feel like a complete waste of time. Marriage is a big step in one's life. A Sample Christ-centered, Gospel-focused Wedding Sermon and Vows Below is a sample wedding sermon for a Christ-centered, gospel-focused wedding ceremony. She was known for. Find and share encouraging marriage quotes! We believe a Christ-centered marriage requires a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in. As BBC Two celebrate the Irish comedian with a night of special programming, we look back at some of his best moments. Oscar Wilde Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Funny Wedding Wishes. Live on the fun side of marriage with our wife jokes and funny husband jokes. The year 2019 will be highly significant for marriage related issues. In the case of multiple spouses or husbands, the nearest marriage is always the first marriage. Any good father of the bride speech should end with some wise words about marriage, and I have some specifically for my new son in law Paul. Also, wedding veils are typically not worn for second weddings, but you can wear one if you choose. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to. Kim Kardashian Shares Story of Her Grandma’s First Marriage Which Lasted 2 Months And Jokes About How Her Second Marriage With Kris Humphries Which Lasted 72 days. Both are accessed from the A74(M) motorway and are near the border of Scotland with England. Modern Wedding Posted: February 13, 2013 The following wedding jokes could be incorporated into the speeches.